Not knowing where you are in the interaction, and not knowing where to go next, is similar to driving a car, but not knowing exactly where you are once you get on the road, and therefore not knowing where to navigate to next. When you don’t know where to take the interaction, it will soon get stale and die. You must always have in mind what your next move is.
In order to lead the conversation in the necessary direction you need to know where you are. During your interaction after the approach you should be in one of three phases, but just know that they will overlap at times. The three phases are comfort, attraction, and qualification. When I start a conversation I like to go direct, but friendly direct, not sexual direct. By going friendly direct she’ll become comfortable in my presence, but it’ll also show the confidence that I have. Then I will build attraction.
Before I flirt with a girl, I realize that’s it’s important for her to first feel comfortable in my presence. That is superficial comfort. Once I’ve built attraction, then I know that my next move should be to isolate her. At the very least I should attempt to mini isolate her where I move her a couple of feet farther away from her friends and turn her so that she is no longer facing them.
If she freely and easily moves in the direction that I’m guiding her in, then she’s clearly attracted. I will then go into the qualification phase so that I could find out if there’s anything cool about her. Once I find out stuff about her that I think is cool I will reward her with either touch, or by giving her a sincere compliment.
We’ll also relate to each other by finding commonalities. The qualification phase is the most important phase. It is the phase that moves the interaction forward. Without qualification, she’ll eventually just think that you liked her only for how good she looks. She’ll think that you and her had a really fun and flirty conversation, but it will lead her to think that you know nothing about her and that she knows nothing about you. If you get her number without qualification, it will end up just being a flaky number.
Qualification leads into rapport comfort which creates an emotional connection. Without creating an emotional connection, all that you’ll have is the spark of sexual attraction. If you aren’t thinking about where to go next in the interaction, then you might forget to qualify, and if you forget that step, you’re either going to create last minute resistance if you are able to take her home, or you’ll simply just have a phone number that she won’t answer when you text or call her.
So always keep in mind where you want to lead the interaction and what your next step is. By always knowing your next step, you’ll eventually be able to game fast. You’ll also be able to detect very quickly if your just having a friendly conversation that is going nowhere. If you quickly determine that the friendly conversation is going nowhere, then you can eject and go open another set without wasting another moment.
