Are you a guy that gets nervous at just the thought of getting sexual with a girl that you’re interested in? When you’re hanging out with her do you hesitate touching her in any way until the end of the night? When and if you get her to the bedroom do you contemplate over and over in your mind what would be the perfect move instead of just going in for a kiss? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are obviously suffering from sexual anxiety.
Guys who are not good with girls suffer from sexual anxiety just as much as they do from approach anxiety. Although most would agree that sexual anxiety is a much worse feeling. You were able to get this hot girl attracted and having her feel comfortable enough to hang out with you alone and then you blow it by not being confident enough to physically escalate. Or maybe you attempt to escalate, but you still blow it by being so nervous and awkward that she quickly loses all attraction.
It Will Instantly Kill All Attraction
The other day I had a friend tell me about a horrible date she had. She said that she was approached while she was shopping at the mall. He wasn’t the type of guy that she normally is attracted to physically, but she felt some attraction because he was able to make her laugh. For the first date they went out to dinner. The second date they watched a movie at his place.
They watched a movie on his bed. When he went in for a kiss she was instantly turned off. It turned out that he was such a bad kisser and he seemed so nervous that she just decided to leave. When he walked her to the door, he gave her a hug.
Then the most awkward thing happened. When he hugged her, he was actually so nervous that he was trembling. At that moment she knew that she would never hang out or text him again. All attraction that she initially had for him was all gone. And that’s how quickly it can go away.
Realize That You Have a Problem
You can transform yourself into the smoothest guy on the cold approach, get the number, get the date, but you if you have sexual anxiety, you’re still going to ruin your chances to have sex with her. Sexual anxiety is real and if you have it, you need to fix it.
Relax, Be in the Moment and Trust Yourself
The main reason you’re having this horrible anxiety is because you don’t trust your abilities. It’s an inner game issue or in other words, a sexual confidence issue. For some reason you either feel you’ll be rejected if you try or you get really nervous when you do try because you think that you’re not skilled enough.
You have to trust that if you turned a girl on in the past, you can certainly do it again. Relax your body. When your body tenses up, so does your breathing, and then your anxiety will follow. Be conscious of the way your body is feeling. If you’re feeling tense, make a conscious effort to take in slower deeper breaths and to systematically relax each part of your body.
Be in the moment. Don’t start thinking so far ahead. Escalate in small incremental steps. When you escalate in small steps, it feels good and natural to her and it puts no undue stress on you. There is no hurry. So when you kiss and touch her, make it very slow and sensual.
Learn How to Touch Her in a Sensual Way
Learn how to touch her in a way that will turn her on. Your touch should be slow and smooth. During foreplay or when you first initiate touch, it shouldn’t be fast.
A great strategy is to always distract from your touch with talking. When you are first initiating touch you should distract from your touch by talking about non sexual stuff. During foreplay distract from your touch by talking dirty and lowering your voice in both volume and base. Make sure to make the first kiss memorable. The first kiss should not be a peck on the lips. The first kiss should be a smooth and sensual make out that lasts 30 seconds to a minute. Leave her wanting more.
Take a class in how to massage, or watch a video on sensual massage. You’ll learn some great tips on how to slowly and erotically touch a girl to turn her on.