Within the last couple of years, having conversations over the phone when dating has become almost non existent. The fact is, girls would much rather communicate through quick texts than having a phone conversation. That has made the skill of knowing how to properly text all the more important.
Don’t Chase
If you initiate text conversations more often than she does, then you’re investing more in her than she’s investing in you. If you invest in her more than she’s investing in you, you’ll be doing the chasing. She’ll start to lose attraction for a guy that chases.
1. Text Infrequently
Make the initial approach solid. If you sparked enough attraction and made her comfortable enough, She’ll still have the fun memory of spending time with you long afterwards. So you won’t have the need to text her often in an attempt to restart attraction. If the initial approach was solid, she’ll likely start texting you before you initiate text with her.
2. Don’t Send Emotional Texts
If you get a same night lay, always send a fun text the next day. If you have plans to see her again, you don’t want her thinking that you’re an asshole for not contacting her afterwards. You want to show her that you still have interest in seeing her again, but only for fun. Don’t get clingy. Don’t ever tell her how much you like her or anything like that. Just keep it fun.
3. Don’t Be Anxious
The ultimate objective in texting is to get her to agree to hang out again. Then you’ll have the opportunity turn it sexual. So definitely set up plan to hang out during that first text session, but not until a few back and forth texts fun texts. It’s a fine line between not wasting time, and not being too anxious.
4. Be Unreactive
If you text her and she doesn’t respond that day, give her a few days and then text again. Don’t bring up the fact that she ignored your text a few days prior. If you decide to bring up the fact that she ignored your text, you will only seem needy and weak. So don’t do it.
5. Act Spontaneous
Text her to ask her out for that same day or the following day. You don’t want to seem like you put so much effort into planning something.
6. Don’t Initiate Text Before Noon
If you send her a text before noon she might assume that you just woke up and that she was the first thought that popped into your head. You don’t want her to assume that you’ve been thinking about her all night. That would make it seem that you’re getting attached.
7. Get Her to Initiate Texts
When you spend time with her, make sure to show her such a fun time that she’ll always have you on her mind. Then intitiate text infrequently and sporadically. When you do that she’l start chasing you.
8. Don’t Sexualize a Text Conversation If…
If you haven’t had sex with her yet it’s not a good idea to sexualize the conversation through text. She might think of you as being try hard or a guy that doesn’t get sex very often. Even if she plays along, there’s a good chance she’ll later think that it was a little weird. A small amount of sexual inuendo could be ok, but definitely nothing explicit.
Some good thoughts here. Number 5 is an interesting one – I once went one a few dates with a guy who only ever texted my spontaneously (eg. I’ll be near where you live this afternoon – want to meet up?). It kind of made me annoyed that he was never prepared to put in the effort to arrange something in advance.
I believe that unless you’re dating a certain girl exclusively, it’s better to be spontaneous. For example, invite her to do something fun with you for tomorrow. This rule especially applies for a first date.
It’ll seem potentially needy to do detailed planning for a first date, like making reservations to a destination. It’s not advantageous to do it.
Besides, making plans a week in advance with a girl that you’re not exclusive with or haven’t gone out with yet has a greater chance of turning into a flake. There’s too many things or too many variables that could pop up in a week’s time.